I am not my hair

Singer India.Arie || Courtesy of naturallynita.blogspot.com

“I am not my hair” is the title of a very powerful song by the inspiring singer India Arie. She is one of the few artists in the music industry that sends a genuine, positive message to listeners--particularly women and females of African descent. She embraces her roots and encourages women to be who they are and set standards for themselves. Sure, the song has been around for quite some time, but because I feel that I can now relate, is what caused me to really absorb the lyrics. 

15 years.
This is the approximate amount of years in which I have been getting relaxers, often referred to as Perms. 15 years I have made my trips to the hairdresser and sat in the chair to receive the "creamy crack." I remember being little and wanting my hair to be like that of my best friend--who was hispanic. My mom did what she could to do my hair and turn the thickness into something more presentable, which caused me a few tears here and there and probably some combs that needed to be replaced... but ultimately it was apparently "too hard to manage."

"Just for Me" relaxer
Courtesy of madamenoire.com

"Just for Me: No Lye Conditioning Relaxer" was the product that was used to "magically make my hair beautiful." Little did I know was that it indeed was a lie. I got a little older and had to switch perms, which is when I experienced getting burned; it led to me bawling in the salon--I'll never forget it. I got a little older and moved on up to "Silent Touch," because my head was sensitive to the harsh perms. (All these names... for what?)

I became of age and knew I could make my own decisions regarding my hair, but the choice of ceasing getting relaxers never crossed my mind! It had been such a routine that I felt as though it was something I HAD to get done every 6-8 weeks. Despite all the scary facts Chris Rock's documentary "Good Hair" highlighted, I still went to get my scheduled relaxer without any second thoughts.

September 17. The day I decided would be my last relaxer. 

Why?

I actually said I'd stop getting relaxers before this date, but just kept on going to the salon anyway. It wasn't the money spent... It wasn't the trips to my hairdresser in New York to ensure that I received a good relaxer... and it wasn't because my hair was breaking [it is a little in the back, but the majority of my hair appears pretty "healthy"]... *sigh*  It was:

• THE CHEMICALS
• The stripping away of the outer layer of my hair in order to portray a straightened look
• The concealment of my natural curls
• My unintentional attempt to conform to the look that society wants to see

People have always complimented how "healthy" my hair looks and how long it is. Yet, I look around and I see ladies rocking their natural hair and am always in awe of how beautiful it is; not only that but it reflects their confidence. From the"big chop" look, to the afro, to the twist-outs, to the braids outs, to the dreads, the list is never ending!

Youtube Vlogger: Naptural85
Courtesy of Blacknaps.org

The amount of research I've done is amazing and it stretches from my friends to strangers to Google and to Youtube. Youtube has been phenomenal in helping me continue this "natural" journey (especially Naptural85!!). I am amazed at the amount of young black girls there are on Youtube who are transitioning, providing tips, offering advice and doing everything to help other females like them through this process. My research definitely helped me to remove the idea that natural hair is "unmanageable."

It won't be easy to go through this process, but I AM determined because my hair does not define who I am.