A Thanksgiving with a lot of "giving"

It's kind of bittersweet, knowing that this is my last "Thanksgiving Vacation." The so called "real world" is quickly approaching and graduation is around the corner! Nonetheless, I enjoyed my Thanksgiving and I must say that it was the best and most productive one I've had in my life.

About a week or so before the break began, I knew I wanted to do something different this year on Thanksgiving Day. As much as I enjoy my mother's cooking (and boy do I enjoy it) I felt as though I could do something more than eat and then pat my stuffed belly at the conclusion of the meal. I wanted to do something more... for those who needed more.

Photo courtesy of warrentonumc.org

I left my house in the morning and began a different kind of Thanksgiving with my other church friends. Our first stop was our church, which had free hot meals available for individuals in the neighborhood. We filled numerous aluminum containers with food and placed them into plastic bags which also included juice, utensils and a Christian pamphlet. We stacked them all into two large cardboard boxes, packed them in the church van and a total of just seven of us set out to Harlem, New York.

We stopped by a shelter for runaway teens and dropped off desserts. The founders of the organizations were so happy that we were able to stop by.

After driving a few blocks down Amsterdam Avenue, we got out the van and the ladies grabbed one box, while the guys held the other, and we split up into two groups and went around trying to spot those who were in need of a Thanksgiving meal. It wasn't hard at all. The minute we got out of the van, a man saw us and began eyeing all food within the plastic bags, asking if we were distributing them. He and a man nearby were very grateful as we handed them each a bag. One of them even pointed across the street stating that there was a man in a wheelchair that would be appreciative of it.

The men that were with us beat us to the man in the wheelchair--who also accepted the food gratefully. My two friends and I carried on down the block, and stumbled across some individuals who were either alone or with someone else. Whether it was the man who was alone, leaned up against the wall in his over-sized coat and surrounded by his shopping cart and black garbage bags of belongings or the man that dug through a nearby garbage can in search of his next meal or a few valuables--they all accepted our hearty smiles and warm meal.

The most touching part was the reaction of a group of three individuals--two males and a female. The gratitude of the woman was beyond words can express.


"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!" She exclaimed with tears in her eyes. She was sitting down and looked up at her two friends who accepted the bags of food from us. She took her own and raised her hand to her chest, hovered over her heart. "God Bless you! This is a great thing you're doing," she said.

As we departed, they immediately began eating the food.

Photo courtesy healthwise-everythinghealth.blogspot.com

Our box was empty as we made our way back to the church van. We met up with the others and their box was empty as well. I really wished we had more food to hand out, but we all felt the same--satisfied and full of joy.

The feeling I felt on our ride back to the Bronx was indescribable. The experience made me realize that I should be doing things like this way more often. The percentage of volunteers that step up to the plate on Thanksgiving increases phenomenally... but what about the other 364 days?

When I arrived home, I was able to enjoy my dinner fully and spend some much needed time with my family. I was so thankful for everything in my life and just so appreciative of the opportunity that I had to bless strangers in this way for the first time. I'm definitely looking forward to volunteering again, in the near future.

I am not my hair

Singer India.Arie || Courtesy of naturallynita.blogspot.com

“I am not my hair” is the title of a very powerful song by the inspiring singer India Arie. She is one of the few artists in the music industry that sends a genuine, positive message to listeners--particularly women and females of African descent. She embraces her roots and encourages women to be who they are and set standards for themselves. Sure, the song has been around for quite some time, but because I feel that I can now relate, is what caused me to really absorb the lyrics. 

15 years.
This is the approximate amount of years in which I have been getting relaxers, often referred to as Perms. 15 years I have made my trips to the hairdresser and sat in the chair to receive the "creamy crack." I remember being little and wanting my hair to be like that of my best friend--who was hispanic. My mom did what she could to do my hair and turn the thickness into something more presentable, which caused me a few tears here and there and probably some combs that needed to be replaced... but ultimately it was apparently "too hard to manage."

"Just for Me" relaxer
Courtesy of madamenoire.com

"Just for Me: No Lye Conditioning Relaxer" was the product that was used to "magically make my hair beautiful." Little did I know was that it indeed was a lie. I got a little older and had to switch perms, which is when I experienced getting burned; it led to me bawling in the salon--I'll never forget it. I got a little older and moved on up to "Silent Touch," because my head was sensitive to the harsh perms. (All these names... for what?)

I became of age and knew I could make my own decisions regarding my hair, but the choice of ceasing getting relaxers never crossed my mind! It had been such a routine that I felt as though it was something I HAD to get done every 6-8 weeks. Despite all the scary facts Chris Rock's documentary "Good Hair" highlighted, I still went to get my scheduled relaxer without any second thoughts.

September 17. The day I decided would be my last relaxer. 

Why?

I actually said I'd stop getting relaxers before this date, but just kept on going to the salon anyway. It wasn't the money spent... It wasn't the trips to my hairdresser in New York to ensure that I received a good relaxer... and it wasn't because my hair was breaking [it is a little in the back, but the majority of my hair appears pretty "healthy"]... *sigh*  It was:

• THE CHEMICALS
• The stripping away of the outer layer of my hair in order to portray a straightened look
• The concealment of my natural curls
• My unintentional attempt to conform to the look that society wants to see

People have always complimented how "healthy" my hair looks and how long it is. Yet, I look around and I see ladies rocking their natural hair and am always in awe of how beautiful it is; not only that but it reflects their confidence. From the"big chop" look, to the afro, to the twist-outs, to the braids outs, to the dreads, the list is never ending!

Youtube Vlogger: Naptural85
Courtesy of Blacknaps.org

The amount of research I've done is amazing and it stretches from my friends to strangers to Google and to Youtube. Youtube has been phenomenal in helping me continue this "natural" journey (especially Naptural85!!). I am amazed at the amount of young black girls there are on Youtube who are transitioning, providing tips, offering advice and doing everything to help other females like them through this process. My research definitely helped me to remove the idea that natural hair is "unmanageable."

It won't be easy to go through this process, but I AM determined because my hair does not define who I am.